Aaaand we're back

Welcome back to real life everyone. Christmas is over and save new years eve, it's time to get back on track!

The weight in of the morning showed... not only that I maintained, but that I *lost*. It was sort of on the edge of what coooould be declared of 3 lbs, but I think I'll be safe and say I lost 2, which brings us to -57! I may hit 60 in January after all! I was nervous for a while. But anyway, now I'll be filling my system with water and weight-watchers instead of coffee and cookies. Haha!! I zumba'd today as I will be doing until it's warm again :(

I hope everyone had a wonderful christmas!

Total Loss:

-57/93

Ah the Holiday Hiatus.

Yes. I have been cooking and eating and having no time to worry about diet!
Stupid holidays!!!
I seriously can't wait to get back on track. But I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas tomorrow, and hope everyone has a wonderful day. Enjoy these last days of the holidays because after tomorrow ITS BACK TO REAL LIFE. (Noooo says everyone --Yay, for me!) I will be posting on monday to tell you the damage done this month and it'll be time to get back to business and lose it!!!

Holidays are Joyful

Hello again!
It is snowing today, in CT. I don't like snow very much, but the light stuff is okay with me. It's only when it becomes a hassle to drive in do I hate it.
But the weather is not why you're tuning in! Since I last checked in, I have lost *drumroll* 3 lbs!! which brings us to the beautiful step called -55!! Still right on track to end the Road Block by August. :)

And commence the introspective part of the blog:
I've been thinking about self-esteem, and my lack of it. I have a very odd sense of esteem. I think it is most generically described like this: I think I'm pretty, but I don't think other people think I'm pretty. And that same idea spans across a lot of my thinking about things. There are other people who are much bigger than me, but if they have that sense of self-worth... don't they seem more beautiful? :/ What I'm trying to say is I'm finding that getting thin isn't, in the end, going to give me the confidence I desire. Because no matter how good I think I look, or charming, or bubbly.... I still won't think anyone else thinks the same things I do. So I don't know how I will change that, but I am certainly going to try.

Total loss: -55/93

checking in

Hey Ya'll~ (<-- What? Paula Deen in the house?)

I just wanted to check in since I haven't posted since I had gone to GA. We (royal we?) are maintaining at -52 (DESPITE thanksgiving and the catered food of amazing at my workplace) So I'm feeling really good about what my metabolism has accomplished for me. haha! I actually had gained some weight but dropped it quickly from being in GA and eating yummy grease (Oh Cracker Barrel.) But come monday, we're getting back on track and maybe I'm jinxing myself, but I think this mini eat-a-thon is going to show good things for the future as now my body isn't strictly formed around making sure I don't go over my daily 25 pts (which, in 2lbs will be 24. *cry* Remember when I could eat like 28?)
Though I do laugh to think that had I not gotten sick upon returning to the north, I would have hit 55 in Nov as well. Ah. Well, maybe if I'm very good (and lucky) my body will do 10 next month and hit 60. (Wouldn't that be sweet?!)

Oh so, when I started this diet, I thought to myself, I wish I had one of those like, thermometers charts to mark how I'm doing. I actually happened to have an extra white board I had planned to keep track of my homework with (never got past my first assignments in Sept 09) So I made one! it went up to 50, and then marked "Party". Well, when I hit 50 I was like "Holy crap, I didn't actually expect this thing to fill." so I made a much sadder looking one to the right of it going to my actual goal weight. (-93) Sometimes I think it's the key to my success. haha. Having something to work towards. Making that mark every month and working towards being able to mark two of them if at all possible :)))

But anyway, I hope all my friends are doing well on their diets and keeping strong. It's hardest at the beginning, girls. But I have loads of faith in you all :D

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like ... Winter...

Lost 2 lbs this week (again) so that brings us to -52lbs! On track for being done with this whole "Road Block" thing within the next 9 months.

Not too much to say this week, I had lunch out this week which was delicious, but... It made me start to think about how over-eating really is an addiction. Like, I can control myself a lot better than I used to. But it's still hard. I still want to totally binge at night. Have a drink. Plain ol' not worry about proportions. And I think, how easy would it be to just fall back into old habits? "When the going gets rough" and all that. It's like the +50 lb girl inside is ever wanting to seep back onto my skin.

Maybe I make this sound more extreme than it is, rest assured, I am not about to forget all that I accomplished. Oh my gosh, I'm in the process of setting new habits and every day, every week that girl who I was in January slowly disappears. It's still a struggle, like any addiction, and it will always be there... but it's not strong enough for me quite yet :) I'm looking forward to holidays and watching them pass with ease. Weight Watchers is good enough to give us flex points and I do believe that they half-created them with holidays in mind.

Okay, I guess I do have a lot to say this week. haha, up coming this week my parents and I are taking our first trip down to GA. Well, my first trip. So you know what that meannsss! Eating out 24/7 ... I may have to take a week off from the blog while I get myself back to a good place. I'm going to do my best to make good choices (Fish, salad, unfried/creamy/etc. chicken) but wish me luck :) there are going to be heavier breakfasts involved than I used to... and worst, no working out. (NOOOOOoooo....) So ... yay. ugh.

So I know I forgot to do my before and afters this past week, so here they are now. I know its a shocker that I'd hide away from the camera, but I seriously could not find any full bodies of me pre-diet-that's-working, so heres the best I could find. I think you'll be shocked :)

Obviously, still a ways to go, but wow what a difference 10 months make, right? :)

Total Loss:

-52/93

Killer!!

Man! I am about ready to stab my scale in the face! I lost 2 lbs this week. which bring us to -49. COME ONNNN I couldn't get that last pound?! It was a fun 10 days of Zumba! OH! Lets see if I fit into the pants I bought now. I am positive I didn't lose a pant size, but if I could wear the jeans I just bought, that'd be great. Yess!!! They do! yahoo! Those are my Old Navy 16s. Which are what I base my size on. I haven't been in these in oh, 7 years. :) And this was the size I got to before my late high school weight gain, so very exciting times for me! now I have to wait for my upper half t fit into an L and it'll be just like old times. :))) (stupid last pound!!!)

Editttt- Dear edit, I love you. I really don't know when the first weigh of the morning stopped being my lowest XD But I definitely am -50 now!!!!!! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!! Over the week I will do a before & after at this general mid point of my weight loss journey :))) Dang, me!!! I rock.

Total Loss: -50/93

Pants:16

Shirts: XL

Zumba~ Que te Mueve!

*breathes a sigh of relief* I didn't know how this would go today!! After two weeks of maintaining, eating beyond flex points (on purpose), and starting zumba, I was about ready to GAIN!

Why, Jane, why in the world would you gain after starting zumba? Well let me tell you! I walk. That is my form of exercise, right? Well, walking isn't exactly working your muscles like crazy. Well it did at one point, but that was at the beginning of the year. Zumba is a muscle KILLERRRR haha! So muscle weighs more than fat, so I thought it was perfectly plausible that I would gain. BUT NO! I lost 2lbs!!! My friends, that brings me to -47! :D 3lbs till I hit -50! how crazy is that?

Right now I'm on the 3rd day of a 10 day zumba program that declares you'll lose a pant size. I am joyfully skeptical. Of course, as I kind of suck at two of the workouts, I dunno, but maybe it will be enough to get me into my 16s I bought from ON :D :D :D I'm rather optimistic about what zumba is going to do for me though. Like, I'm not even worried about the number going down (that much) because I swear I can already SEE small differences in my body after 1 week.

Thank you to everyone who keeps supporting me on this journey! I really couldn't do it without you :)

Until next week!!

Total Loss: -47/83

*grumble*

So the bloat went away soon enough, hurray hurray, but since then... I've gone nowhere. I was, as opposed to last week, the image of a good weight watchers dieter. I walked an average of 5 miles 5 days this week. I checked my weight occasionally and nothing! back to -45 and stop. I know, I know, better to maintain than gain. My motto to my friends when they can't lose. But I've been really good! Grrrr! So what's left?

- I've switched up my workout (I have not been walking 5-6 miles long enough for my body to get used to that.)

- I've been eating my points or a few less.

- I've been drinking 15-20 (more towards 20 this past week) cups of water.

- Plain ol' eating healthier.

This is very frustrating, so what? You know I have not used my flex points in ages. Maybe.. it's time to "trick" the metabolism into gear? Augh, the thought of going over my points pains me. Well I'm going on a day trip this week.... so, I guess... I'll let loose for the day? *cringe*

I dunno, I'm super boggled. Anyone have any tricks to get things moving along?

AH. Being a girl.

Oh so, two days late. Bah. Well, last week, on top of not being on my very best behavior (bad!) it would seem that I bloated. Le sigh. I suppose it has to happen now and again. Now I know it's bloating and not just the consequences of my "bad" week because of 2 factors: 1) I went over my points a little on some days, and wasn't able to work out but.... 2)I bloat like... 4-6 lbs. One does not gain that in one week of not being a perfect example of a weight watchers dieter. haha. But anyway!

I am still very excited with how I'm doing, and I'm planning ahead for the winter. Deonna had shared the joys of her Zumba DVD with me and I decided to get it for myself! $65 bucks, but thats cheaper than 2 months at the gym! (My gym anyway )

I have decided that when I hit -50, I'm going to do a "Before and After" (well, after thus far) and I just found the last legit pic taken of me before I really started dieting... it's a sad thing. I've been thinking about it a lot lately; I'm so so proud of where I am, but I cannot help but be ashamed of where I was, even who I was. I feel like this whole journey has not only transformed my body, but my mind. While I love that, I really hate that I let myself go like that. Really.

I really must commend myself tonight though~~! Deonna, Anne and I went to the Cheesecake Factory. I planned it all out. What I would get would basically use up all my points for the day. Now what makes that a problem... is, as you know, I'm a night eater. And I did it. And it was hard. haha!!! But I'm really proud of myself for that. It sort of made me remember that sometimes dieting is a struggle... and you sort of have to fight it out moment by moment. I know that sounds sincerely pathetic, but... there it is! Over eating is an addiction. I realize that, and it must be tackled as such.

Well, enough with my rambling!

Until Monday!

Things I Never Expected.

It's one of those exciting mid-week posts!!

Well, first off, I hit -45 so thats exciting :D although I kind of doubt losing anymore for the week.

Today my bff and I went to Newport, RI to visit the mansions and I ate horridly. This included Lobster ravioli in a cream sauce and Ben and Jerry's ice cream (Coffee Coffee, Buzzbuzzbuzz--which is amazing, btw) which I'm pretty sure blew all my point right there. But that's what flex points are for, and I hardly use mine.

But now the EXCITINGGG part happened on the way home. We stopped at the outlets to browse. My friends, I tried on a pair of size 16 Liz Claiborn jeans AND.THEY.FIT. *does the skinny dance*

Then as we went into Banana Republic because it is bff's favorite store (possibly next to J.Crew) As I browsed around I said "It's going to be bad when I can fit into this store." She said "You probably do. They go up to XL.." now that doesn't always mean anything, but I decided, what the heck, I'll try some stuff on... and officially went into "bad" mode. She can vouch for me. I went giddy. Tried on the first shirt. Terrified, looked into the mirror to see.... Me. Looking. Hott. LOL okay, not hott. But it fit! Everything I tried on fit! *does the skinny dance!!!*

My friends I'm ecstatic! So motivated and in the realization that I'm starting to actually... look good. Whoa.

Oh!

I've been trying to deny it ever since I woke up. I can't believe it. -44. Look at me, I can barely talk about it. 199. Me.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

This is SO freakin' exciting! And I'm surprised how in denial I am about it too. "No. That can't be right." as it's staring me in the face on the scale. Wow!!! Now, what did I do differently this week? Oh. A ton of things.

1)I decided it was time to increase my walking distance. I'm walking further and faster so I really had no excuse not to push myself. I started walking 5 miles and it takes me about 90 minutes. I don't know if that's good or not for someone like me who has stubs for legs. haha

2)I started eating breakfast. I would try to eat breakfast sometimes, but this week I decided it was time to really START. Of course, I never eat breakfast, so this was a lot harder than you'd think. I never would have something more than 2 points... but I tried to eat 2 points. along with my 2 points of coffee.

3)I actually ate most, if not all my points worth everyday. I can have 26 (now 25) points and during my time trying to eat only 20 (the weight watchers lowest you should eat.) and it occurred to me that I have that many points for a reason. It's not a bad thing to eat all my points. I'm supposed to. So I have been. I wonder how many phases of trying to "eat less to lose faster" it's going to take before I realize that doesn't work.

4)I'm teaching myself to snack on veggies. It's not like I don't adore some veggies enough to snack on them. Last sunday I bought myself this container of carrot sticks (because they were so stinkin' cute) and it just totally put me on this streak. So I've been eating like that at night which definitely works for me. So much better than what I was doing.

And of course, I have everyone who's been supporting me to thank too. :) Without your constant encouragement I couldn't do this. I don't think I talk too much about my struggles (and I do. Oh I do.) and you all show so much love and support and it helps more than I can explain.

I have not been at this weight since... 2004ish? (sadly, that was on the way of gaining too.) So this is like... starting a new journey. I know things are only going to get harder from here. And there will be a ton of things working against me in the foreseeable future. But I'm excited!

Total Weight Loss: -44/80

*twiddles thumbs*

So this is it. the last few pounds, right? Gaaaaaaahhhhh must.get.under.200!!!! Not this week though. Only lost 1lb. Probably would have been 2, except that I couldn't go walking for the last two days because my legs are sore from squatting to wash the blinds. (6 hours straight. and I didn't want to break it into two days)

Annyyyway. Hopefully I de-sore SOON because I need to get out there and walk. and lose these last 3 lbs! 199... almost in reach!!! I haven't been under 200 since before I was in college, so this is just amazing to me!

Total loss: -41/80

The last days of summer

I was getting a little frustrated this week. My scale jumped me up a few lbs and wasn't getting rid of them. I started weighing myself on my parents scale because it's non digital and (I'd like to think) more accurate. With only 2lbs before hitting 40 I was kinda determined this week and still, I only lost 1lb, but that is better than none and I'm sure I'll hit -40 before the end of the week (probably tomorrow or something haha) My new goal in life is to try and eat less at night. Until I can do that, I can't really say eat more during the day instead. I don't trust myself enough! I also need to take a multi vitamin or something like normal people. And I should start doing some strength training. Soo close to being under 200. Very exciting times for me :D

Total loss: -39/80

EDIT:

Oh I love editing. Weighed myself again and hellooooo I hit -40 :D Happy days indeed!

Bikers in the rain play chicken with walkers.

... Just saying. Today it is rather drizzly but not enough to stop me from going walking, which I jump at the chance to when I have time (now that it's cold.... -- Oh how I loved putting on my hoodie that has become abnormally too big for me) So I went out expecting to be the only person in the parking lot, but there were a good 5-6 cars already there. I was surprised! but that's nothing compared to a normal day so I was still kind of excited about not getting run over by bikers. Oh how I dream. Twice within the first 20 minutes of my walk (I walk about an hour or so, depending) bikers were on my side of the trail... and not moving. For the first one, he kept edging closer to the gravel bit of the path, so I gave up on him and started moving towards the other side of the path. He moved to my exact line of walking and only about 20-30 ft away did he finally move over. It was very annoying. I think he might have actually been trying to mess with me. The other biker was a pair and one was in each "lane" which I run into fairly frequently, but it was still irksome because she nearly clipped me.

But enough of my horror stories on the trail ( not much for horror, but...) The weigh in of the week comes to -38!!!! Woohoo!!! 3lbs this week! I've been trying to get back into the habit of writing everything down because it does keep me more accountable, but I have to admit i haven't been on my best behavior, but I guess the trail has been making up for that. If all goes well, I should hit -40 next week! Getting closer and closer to being under 200 and i cannot even express how amazing that feels. If I hit 40 next week, I'll be back on schedule (Sad that I'm not ahead anymore. Curse you, vacation!!!!) but I'm becoming fearful for the holidays... I am a crazy cookie baker.... Anyone want any?

Total Loss: -38/80

Heeeeere's Janie!

HELLO!!!!!!!

Hiatus is OVER! Posting before Monday, but whatever, right? I don't know why, but I didn't want to post until I had lost the weight I gained over my summer adventures. Which, before I left I was at -33, I believe. I hit that about 2 weeks ago and I was frustrated a little bit because I wasn't going anywhere. I ate less, a lot less than I should have been and wasn't losing. So last week I kinda gave up on that and ate like a normal human (on a WW diet) and poof. I start losing. Simply proving that starving yourself isn't healthy and doesn't do anything for your weight (at least, not for a while, I guess) and makes you cranky and tired. Heck I made pumpkin cookies and I've been eating those and still lost weight... not that I'm going to make that a habit.

Anyway, Deonna and I decided to buckle down and start walking again. It's still nasty hot and humid, but whatever. We both need to get back out there on the trail. 2 miles is still too little for me though, so if I can get myself out there, back to the 4+ miles! Gosh, I can walk forever!

So, as a good start back into the blog, I am at -35!!!!!! YAY!!! I am less than 10 lbs away from being under 200 and I cannot tell you how excited I am and motivated I am to keep it up :D

Total loss: -35/80 (almost half way!!!)

Hiatus?

Hey everyone, (no one) It's been what, like 3 weeks? My friend Anne came to visit me for a couple weeks and so I had to... eat (dun dun dunnn) So I lost all the weight I gained, at that, but next week, I'm headed to CA for a couple weeks and, while I'm going to try and "eat right" you gotta eat CA food, right? So I guess I'm calling hiatus until I get back from that. My weight's not really going anywhere except on a mini roller coaster. haha. I'm not giving up, it's just summer and I'm usually not even this busy during summer, but here we are.

Here We Go Again

Well, the maintaining period is ova! 3 weeks was ENOUGH! When I weighed myself the other day before bed I kinda laughed because I had technically lost a lb at THAT point. So when I weighed myself in yesterday.... I lost 3 lbs... bringing me officially to -30!!! :D 10 more pounds till the half point! and 30 more till I'm where I was in high school. Still heavier than I'd like to be, but dang, I looked GOOD. haha!!

My friend Anne is coming to visit me for the next two weeks so that can only hurt me. I'll try to watch what I eat, but its going to be rough. It'll be meals only for me and maybe I'll tack on an extra bottle of water everyday.

Total Loss: 30/80

Pants: 18

Shirt: XL (generally.)

Hop, Skip and a Jump

Well, last week I maintained, which needs to stop happening every other week. Bad, Jane. Bad! But this week I lost 2, just barely. But 2 was lost. So I'm a -27!

I walked like 6 miles today, just cuz. We have a bike trail that spans across several towns in my state and I decided to walk a different section than I usually do and so I just kept going until I had walked for about an hour, then I turned around. It was really lovely, and yet there was like, a 1 mile span of severe boringness.

Wow, okay I know that wasn't a whole lot to say, but thats all I've got this week.

Total Loss: 27/80

Skipped a beat

WELL WAHOO!!!

Not only did I "break the barrier", I did it by two pounds! I'm SO happy. I'm totally ahead of schedule having lost -25!!!!! It's so awesome to look at my white board and see that I got to -20 only 3 weeks prior. awesommmeeeeee!!!

Notably, I was *really* good this week. I was bad last week which kicked me back into gear, so this was really exciting. Yee! but since I hit this marker on the 31st of May, if I get back on track I might not hit 30 until July. Booooo 2 Mays and no June? Or maybe I'll hit 30 on my birthday (June 29th-- ... which isn't a monday XD) I walked 5 times this week, 4 miles. I was either at or went under my points all week. But I still took my flex points for my sisters party.

Yee I'm so happy. I need to go to Old Navy and buy new jeans soon. My 20's are getting TOO BIG! (finally, but I should have been in 22 from the get go)

Total Loss: 25/80

Did the beat stop?

Blah! I maintained this week, but with good reason. I have not been on my best diet behavior. But in my defense a lot of stress has been going on in my family, plus my own personal stress, but I don't like to use that an excuse, so here I am. I neither lost nor gained and getting closer (hopefully) to that lovely "barrier" I'm hoping to get past. Well I shall go back to doing my darnedest, and hopefully I'll have lost and gone past -23. :)

Until next week.

Total Loss: 22/80

And the beat goes on...

Welcome to another week where I tell you how my weight loss is going. :)

So last week we hit 20. Wow! What an accomplishment :) I really should recognize myself for how well I'm going. I honestly can't believe it. It feels like I just started yesterday. But at the same time its a little discouraging. My mom has been losing weight, and my sister too and they're starting to have to get smaller clothes. Why aren't I?

Well I actually have an answer for that and its no excuse.

Like I've mentioned in previous weeks, "I was at this weight at this time and blah blah" and I had gotten down to about -25 (a la this journey, at that time it was -12 I think.) last year and I had gotten a whole buncha new clothes then. So all in all, i'm in the right place. My clothes are fitting me correctly now. haha. I put on a pair of jeans last week that I couldn't even button when I started and I wore them out to the grocery store because they fit so well!! It was very very exciting for me.

At this point you probably think I'm rambling because I haven't lost any weight. You would be incorrect!!! I lost smack-dab 2 lbs. :) keep it up, me!

Total Loss: 22/80

Milestones!

Well, I delightfully tell you that we've (the royal we?) completed 1/4 of the weight loss journey!!!

Finally hit 20 lbs! lordie, so basically... I'm right where I was around this time last year. Its kinda sad that I gained 20 lbs over the course of a year... with diets randomly thrown in there.

But in 3 lbs I hit what I call "the barrier" this is where I plateau. every. single. time. So please be with me during the next few weeks to see if I triumph over it or if it takes me down, and if it does please don't let me fall.

Oh so here's my funny story for the week. So yesterday was mother's day, right? My sister couldn't come but my brother in law, Stewart did, my Aunt came and my Gran came, along with my father, mother and I. All well and good I didn't really take Grans off-hand comment about how I shouldn't snack to much before dinner (crackers and cheese... yaaay) too seriously, but dessert came after dinner (duh?) and we had poppyseed roll and icecream, now seeing as it was a special day I used this weeks flex points (i kinda had to, as we ordered out from a restaurant) and so i took more than my usual 1/2 cup of ice-cream (it was probably no more than a 3/4 cup though) and two (small) pieces of roll and this, *this* is when gran pipes in and says "You're supposed to be reducing your intake. Your dress barely fit. You don't want to gain." She must have been referring to the dress I wore on easter which, notably was a little snug. But I, who is having bonding time with aunt-flow, was not having any of that. I politely said "You mean I don't look like I've lost almost 20 lbs?" I genuinely sounded concerned, but then I kind snarkily said, "I think I can indulge a little bit when I want to." My aunt backed me up, but nothing more was said, thankfully. haha. I should put on my dress, it's been almost 10 lbs since I wore it... haha!

Note: I do love my gran, but after all my dieting it irks me if someone tells me I'm eating too much. I *plan* my flex points days, the least people can do is let me enjoy it.

Until next time!

Total Loss: 20/80

Back on Track!

Alright! Huzzah huzzah! We lost 3 lbs this week, which basically makes up for lost time. I lost a pound after Rockport, gained it back and now I lost 3 so, averaging it out I lost 1 lb a week. But its still cool to see the 3lb jump. haha.

My dearest Deonna told me a couple days ago she was really able to tell (from the last time she saw me --weird!) that I'm losing. Which pretty much made my day.

Now I started working and I'm not sure how thats going to effect my weight loss or if it won't do anything. My experience in the past has been that I lose weight, but when I worked at Sears I priorly had been working with the BL Cardio Max DVD and not really getting anywhere. So maybe the work kicked the funk I was in. So! We shall see where this goes and needless to say I am THRILLED to be back on track! 2 more lbs till I hit 20!

I wanted to touch on something about passing -17lbs. Where I was at that (this?) particular weight was at the end of my sophomore year in college. Which, at the beginning of my Sopho year I. Looked. Good. and everytime I hit this weight(going down, not up) I remember how I looked at the beginning of that year and it gives me a little hope. Is that weird? Probably.

Until next week,

Jane

Total Loss: 18/80

Merrrr...

I knew this day was coming.

I have been losing even through my "woman-time" from the beginning, but apparently this month will be different. I gained 1 lb this week :/ I'm going to make sure I keep to my points like crazy this week, of course. I just really hope this passes and we can get back to business.

I get really nervous when this happens. I know how my mind works. I keep losing, so I keep doing what I need to do. But when I maintain, or gain...its harder. Plus, I'm about to start working so I know my work out routine is about to take a turn (of course, now I'll be on my feet almost all day) and I'm going to have to find a way to GET myself up to walking before I go into work... I *know* it won't happen after.

When I worked at Sears over the holidays I lost major weight for no good reason, even though I had been working out (doing the Biggest Loser DVDs) so maybe working will help too? I suppose we shall find out! I'm a very routine based person, so I hope I make this transition quickly so I can get back to business!!!!!

Total Loss: 15/80

Weekend Post~

Hey all (no one),

I wanted to pop on and talk about what I'm doing this weekend/ beginning of next week. I'm going on a mini vacay (so needed.) and so I'm going to weigh in on Sunday (again)

Of course Im worried about how this vacation is going to go and I am going to TRY and stick to my diet as well I can, but I'm not going to kill myself and give up new opportunities to try things that I'll never have a chance to try. I haven't used my flex points in weeks, so I wanna! haha! No, really, we're going to be on the coast, which means SEAFOOD!! and *that* is okay. I'll just stay away from the beer battered fillets. ;)

The hotel we're staying at has an exercise room which I intend to take advantage of, I think they have ellipticals which I haven't used in forever and I would love to spend 30-45 minutes on. :D those things are the freaking best. I know Deonna intends to work out as well, plus! swimming! we'll do laps and all that fun stuff. I'm really not too worried. But of course, I also know me when I go on vacations. Throw diet to the wind! Time to not care! Nope! and I will have two (three?) other people there to make sure I don't leave the straight and narrow ;)

But anyway! See you Sunday for the weeks wrap up. Bright and early before I leave!

FONDUTA!

Happy Sunday!

Before I put in the last of my homework, I wanted to tell ya'll I got to fill in the 3rd slot in my chart! YES! I have lost 15 lbs :D wooooo! Super exciting!

I weighed myself early because Deonna and I went out to the Olive Garden and I wanted to use my flex points and eat fonduta (a special dish) and I didn't want that to mess with my weight... is that cheating?

Deonna says I should write a book about my weight loss experience, and I think if I make it through I just might! I mean... I really am someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, and doing this has been amazing. I mean, I went into this so differently than I usually do. I usually am trying to look good for a guy. Or trying to fit into a dress. but once the guy falls through and the recital is over... whats the point? This time... it's about me. Me and seeing myself in the mirror. Seeing myself in the mirror and not being disgusted by that person. Feeling confident, pretty, worthwhile. I'm doing this for me. Not for a dress, not for a boy, not because I have to.... Because if I don't I will lose myself.

Since I started... 3 months ago... I have changed. I'm more confident. I'm happier, more energetic, and I'm starting to see ME again. I mean, of course day to day is different. Somedays I look at myself and say, has anything really changed? or, Why are my clothes not BIG on me yet? Probably because they didn't fit me before, but in those moments... it's hard. I want to make a change in me and I am. But the big picture will not come immediately and sometimes... that's hard.

Okay, I think thats enough rambling for now!

Have a great week everybody.

Total Loss: 15/80

MIDWEEKPOSTWHAATTT?!

HI!

Not a weight check in or anything, just felt like rattling about myself like a twerp. :D

So before I went walking today, my mom said she could tell I was losing weight, which, after losing 12 lbs, I really hope so !! XD; But you know, she's the first one to say it, so it means a lot :)

I have been loving walking on the bike trail with my best friend, we'll call her Deonna. I think it's really good for us, we're walking and just talking about anything and everything. Nothing deep (so far) and its been really fun :) the walk is a snap. I sweated today! So I'm all yaaaayyy its getting warmer!

I'm now trying to remember why I wanted to write in here today, oh yeah! EASTER. Ohhhh easter. Lots of chocolate. and yummys. I mean, I've decided I'm not going to worry too hard on sunday about what I eat. Not meaning I'm going to totally binge, but I'm not going to count (noooooo!) but its certainly going to be interesting... I really hope to lose 2 lbs but my aunt flow has come to visit for the holiday, so I won't be surprised if I don't lose at all. :( Just keep on plugging away.

I have been drinking a LOT of water lately. like 9-15 cups a day. at least 9, because I use Poland Spring sports bottles which have 3 cups. and I drink 3 of those and then sometimes I just drink more XD;

okay. done mid-week babbling. Have a great Easter!

Oh dear.

Well, easily said, though its not like I binged... much. (hey, thats what flex points are for, right?) I still lost 1 pound this week. Man. Once your in the double digits it's like PSHHHHH 1 POUND IS NOTHING. -___- I have to remind myself that this is not a fast thing. Well, actually if you consider the decimals, it's 1.5 lbs haha, but I just factor in the "big number". Any loss is good loss... This is the "hump" area isn't it? getting to 20? guh. Well I'm going to try eating LESS at night (I usually factor my points in so that I can keep my late night snacking.) I mean, eventually I'd like to stop eating by 8. but maybe for now I'll try to just stop by 10. try. LOL. This just means I have to tell myself to eat more during the day.

This week the weather was pretty great, so I walked on the trail. I enjoyed that, and that way i was able to walk with my best friend, and she got to be embarrassed by my "exciting" hair. hahahahahahaha.

Well, if I lose another 1.5 lbs it'll be like 2 lbs next week! wahoo! Lets keep up the good work shall we?

--edit!!! I weighed myself again after.. well. Anyway. practically lost a whole nother pound! Soooo I'm saying I lost 2 lbs! >DD MAHAHAHA!~

Total Loss: 12/80

Woohoo!

Oh blog, beautiful blog... Today there is much celebration!

the 10 lb mark has been hit!!! :DDDD

It felt so good to fill in that 10 space on my "meter" I also thought I'd date it so I can track how long it takes me to get from point A-B-C... until of course the 80 lbs are gone~ I'm so excited, in about 13 lbs is when I start feeling good about myself, it is also.. "the barrier" as I call it. I have fought with beating that number multiple times. I'm sure I'll be able to beat it and keep going.

Whats hilarious about hitting 10 lbs this week is that I was not exactly eating the best this week. I wasn't going over my points or anything, but what I was eating wasn't always best. Cheesecake, I had a cosmo, icecream, chocolate... But here we are! (not like I want to keep eating like that, that is just what life brought on this week XD)

So my hope is that i'm losing like, 5 lbs a month, and the 20 mark will be hit before June! :) (and 30 before august-- when I go on vacation) but either way, I'm super encouraged by this and excited to keep going! :D the weather is beautiful and there's an excellent walking trail near my house.... unfortunately it's supposed to rain so I might not get there today. Bringing back pilates this week! I'm feeling healthy enough :)

Weight Loss: 10/80

Lordie lordie

Well! I'm still kinda sick. Mentally and physically I'm fine and peppy, but I'm still coughing a lot, which is really annoying!!!! But anyway, yesterday and today I walked on the tread, I walked about 17 minutes yesterday and 22 (in two segments 16 & 6) today. After my first segment I coughed for like 10 minutes. Blaaaah I hate coughing, but it's getting better.

I weighed myself this morning, and I maintained my weight, which is FINE with me. I sat on the couch literally all week, I think maintaining is LUCKY! haha But we're going to shoot for hitting the 10 lb marker next week. :)

That being said, I will own up. I had a smallish binge tonight :( I had a craving for DQ, but being sick... I really didn't want to get dressed and drive. I called my dad to ask him to pick me up a pink of ben and jerry's, but his phone was off. My parents reminded me that they had brought home a plate of treats from their fellowship group and so I took a little cupcake a raspberry crumble bar... which were very good, and if I had stopped there it would have been fine. But then I had a couple other snacky items, and a few squares of my lindt chocolate bar... so I'm now feeling guilty.. As I should.

I think maybe this week, I will try and do Sweating to the Oldies for my next 4 days of workout. Thats an hour of "high intensity" workout, but doesn't make me want to DIE like Biggest Loser does. Well, I'll try doing it tomorrow and see if my lungs don't kill me. haha!

Ugh.

I'm sick :( it's a sad day! (Why are you still awake at 1:30am, Jane? Pray tell!) No reason, I'm afraid. Waiting for my nighttime meds to kick in.

I lost 1 pound this week, and lets just say I'm pretty lucky with that! This week i was trying a "I'll do pilates for 1 hour every day!" because the track on my treadmill needed to be adjusted and tightened. This did not happen until friday, and then I found I was sorely out of shape from my treading and only walked 20 minutes saturday, and on Sunday I did Sweating to the Oldies 3 (Yeah, Richard Simmons!-- LOL!) and I weighed myself this morning to see our lowest number yet (*cough* this time around) so I'm pretty happy.

Unfortunately, now I am sick and I don't want to push myself too much. I didn't workout today and I'm hoping to gather enough energy to do SttO tomorrow... My goal is to lost 2 lbs this week so I can hit 10 POUNDS! :D

Yesterday (Sunday) I went out to friendly's with my best and I got a wrap, thinking that was the way to go, right? NO! I got a Caesar wrap.... stupid!! I looked it up when I got home to see what I could have for dinner.... the wrap calculated to 29 points!!! I was SHOCKED. I was very very upset with myself. But what to do. Thats what flex points are for, right?

Total Loss: 8/80

Flex Points, be on your guard!!

Tomorrow my family is celebrating my sisters birthday so as is tradition with us, we're ordering in chinese food. I should be okay, but I'm "using my flex points" and being careful the rest of the day. Anyfloo, I weighed myself today and I lost 2 lbs! :D rounds us to a total of 7lbs!!! and I am just so happy and content with this. It helps that my mom has been doing a sort of diet as well, so we're often plotting together and making boca burgers for lunch.

Oh man. Boca burgers. Soy product goodness. haha! I am in LOVE with them. I've gotten to calling myself a boring eater because I'm happy making these everyday for my lunch. What I love about them is not really the taste --They aren't bad, but not exactly something I'd drool over. but the fact that I can have 1 pattie on a flat roll with cheese, mustard and onions (cheeseburger, much?) for4-5 points and I am legit FULL. :D Gosh, and I usually drink a 20 oz bottle of water with my meals, so sometimes I'm like, "Oof" full. It's the best. I've been on weight watchers a million times, but never have I found something that made me legit full. It's very exciting.

So I'm going strong! still doing 1 hour, 5x a week.... and I don't think I'll be bumping that up for a little while yet.. But it's so exciting to see the changes in my body!!

:D

HEY! Weighed myself today anddd.... I've lost 5 lbs! :D Yesssss!

Dear pilates and treadmill, I LOVE YOU! Lets keep up the good work!

My endurance on the tread is sloooooooowly building. I'm getting closer to walking at 3mph for my whole round.... but not quite. I average around 2.7 for my 30 minute. Also raising my incline :)

Yayyyy I'll just be happy today now. haha!

Alo alo!

Well lets see. I just came back from visiting my college for a few days. I graduated last May and this has been the first chance I've had to get up there. Unfortunately it was break and no one was on campus. I still got to see a couple friends and my music teachers.

I did not work out at all XD and I was afraid for two reasons when i got back home: 1) that I would have gained & 2) I would have gotten off routine of working out and wouldn't be able to motivate myself.

I was wrong on both counts! I maintained my weight, which is GREAT. Seeing my friends was more like "Lets go have delicious, fatty dinner!" plus my hostess was like "I bought you delicious food of which we shall eat constantly!!"

Today I got up and had no issues with doing my usual 1 hour workout! I actually thought about walking on the treadmill for longer than my usual 30 minutes, but my legs were all "Grr 8% incline :(((" So I obliged them and hopped off.

It was a fun trip though. 7 hour drives suck, but what to do!

This monday I'm HOPING that I can hit the 5 lb marker. Oh how I'd love to lose some weight before ordering my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding. And I hope when we do the sizing for them that they'll need to be majorly taken in.

I'm making my sister's birthday cake today... Wish me luck. I love baking, I also love eating the baking. Boo!

Maybe if I'm bored later I'll walk on the tread some more

Welcome welcome!

Hello! I'm Jane... well, as far as you know ;)

Lets cut to the chase. I am basically obese. As much as I hate to admit that. I look in the mirror and I don't see me anymore. I hate that; I hate that a lot. I had another online journal, but I needed something, somewhere I could write about my attempts at finally kicking the 80 lbs to get to my goal weight. I have been struggling with weight my entire life. I've been on a million different diets. Once I was 20 lbs away from my goal, but I got too comfortable or something and I gained it back... and then some, at this point. I know this isn't going to be easy. I'm an emotional eater, I'm a boredom eater, I'm lazy and unmotivated and these are things I need to change.

I want to use this journal for anything and everything that has to do with me and my weight. If I'm stressed and I want to eat, I intend to come here to vent instead. If I want to talk about how excited I am about walking a certain distance, I'll come here. You get the idea. :)

I just started trying to turn my life around, I'm starting to walk on my treadmill... I hope that within a month or two I'll be able to jog for more than 5 minutes, haha. But for now, I'm just trying to get myself motivated. I'm doing pilates too, which I love. It's very amusing to attempt some of the moves that having a gut kind of limits. I'm getting better though.

Having a guy in my life used to motivate me, but it's been a while, and I need to learn how to do something for myself, anyway.

As for diets, I'm doing weight watchers. Not officially, I don't go to meetings, but the general point system.

For now I won't say my weight number, because I really don't think that matters. I'll tell you the facts.

Pants: 20

Shirt: XXL

I'll post when those change. Though it will probably be a while.