It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like ... Winter...

Lost 2 lbs this week (again) so that brings us to -52lbs! On track for being done with this whole "Road Block" thing within the next 9 months.

Not too much to say this week, I had lunch out this week which was delicious, but... It made me start to think about how over-eating really is an addiction. Like, I can control myself a lot better than I used to. But it's still hard. I still want to totally binge at night. Have a drink. Plain ol' not worry about proportions. And I think, how easy would it be to just fall back into old habits? "When the going gets rough" and all that. It's like the +50 lb girl inside is ever wanting to seep back onto my skin.

Maybe I make this sound more extreme than it is, rest assured, I am not about to forget all that I accomplished. Oh my gosh, I'm in the process of setting new habits and every day, every week that girl who I was in January slowly disappears. It's still a struggle, like any addiction, and it will always be there... but it's not strong enough for me quite yet :) I'm looking forward to holidays and watching them pass with ease. Weight Watchers is good enough to give us flex points and I do believe that they half-created them with holidays in mind.

Okay, I guess I do have a lot to say this week. haha, up coming this week my parents and I are taking our first trip down to GA. Well, my first trip. So you know what that meannsss! Eating out 24/7 ... I may have to take a week off from the blog while I get myself back to a good place. I'm going to do my best to make good choices (Fish, salad, unfried/creamy/etc. chicken) but wish me luck :) there are going to be heavier breakfasts involved than I used to... and worst, no working out. (NOOOOOoooo....) So ... yay. ugh.

So I know I forgot to do my before and afters this past week, so here they are now. I know its a shocker that I'd hide away from the camera, but I seriously could not find any full bodies of me pre-diet-that's-working, so heres the best I could find. I think you'll be shocked :)

Obviously, still a ways to go, but wow what a difference 10 months make, right? :)

Total Loss:

-52/93

Killer!!

Man! I am about ready to stab my scale in the face! I lost 2 lbs this week. which bring us to -49. COME ONNNN I couldn't get that last pound?! It was a fun 10 days of Zumba! OH! Lets see if I fit into the pants I bought now. I am positive I didn't lose a pant size, but if I could wear the jeans I just bought, that'd be great. Yess!!! They do! yahoo! Those are my Old Navy 16s. Which are what I base my size on. I haven't been in these in oh, 7 years. :) And this was the size I got to before my late high school weight gain, so very exciting times for me! now I have to wait for my upper half t fit into an L and it'll be just like old times. :))) (stupid last pound!!!)

Editttt- Dear edit, I love you. I really don't know when the first weigh of the morning stopped being my lowest XD But I definitely am -50 now!!!!!! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!! Over the week I will do a before & after at this general mid point of my weight loss journey :))) Dang, me!!! I rock.

Total Loss: -50/93

Pants:16

Shirts: XL

Zumba~ Que te Mueve!

*breathes a sigh of relief* I didn't know how this would go today!! After two weeks of maintaining, eating beyond flex points (on purpose), and starting zumba, I was about ready to GAIN!

Why, Jane, why in the world would you gain after starting zumba? Well let me tell you! I walk. That is my form of exercise, right? Well, walking isn't exactly working your muscles like crazy. Well it did at one point, but that was at the beginning of the year. Zumba is a muscle KILLERRRR haha! So muscle weighs more than fat, so I thought it was perfectly plausible that I would gain. BUT NO! I lost 2lbs!!! My friends, that brings me to -47! :D 3lbs till I hit -50! how crazy is that?

Right now I'm on the 3rd day of a 10 day zumba program that declares you'll lose a pant size. I am joyfully skeptical. Of course, as I kind of suck at two of the workouts, I dunno, but maybe it will be enough to get me into my 16s I bought from ON :D :D :D I'm rather optimistic about what zumba is going to do for me though. Like, I'm not even worried about the number going down (that much) because I swear I can already SEE small differences in my body after 1 week.

Thank you to everyone who keeps supporting me on this journey! I really couldn't do it without you :)

Until next week!!

Total Loss: -47/83

*grumble*

So the bloat went away soon enough, hurray hurray, but since then... I've gone nowhere. I was, as opposed to last week, the image of a good weight watchers dieter. I walked an average of 5 miles 5 days this week. I checked my weight occasionally and nothing! back to -45 and stop. I know, I know, better to maintain than gain. My motto to my friends when they can't lose. But I've been really good! Grrrr! So what's left?

- I've switched up my workout (I have not been walking 5-6 miles long enough for my body to get used to that.)

- I've been eating my points or a few less.

- I've been drinking 15-20 (more towards 20 this past week) cups of water.

- Plain ol' eating healthier.

This is very frustrating, so what? You know I have not used my flex points in ages. Maybe.. it's time to "trick" the metabolism into gear? Augh, the thought of going over my points pains me. Well I'm going on a day trip this week.... so, I guess... I'll let loose for the day? *cringe*

I dunno, I'm super boggled. Anyone have any tricks to get things moving along?

AH. Being a girl.

Oh so, two days late. Bah. Well, last week, on top of not being on my very best behavior (bad!) it would seem that I bloated. Le sigh. I suppose it has to happen now and again. Now I know it's bloating and not just the consequences of my "bad" week because of 2 factors: 1) I went over my points a little on some days, and wasn't able to work out but.... 2)I bloat like... 4-6 lbs. One does not gain that in one week of not being a perfect example of a weight watchers dieter. haha. But anyway!

I am still very excited with how I'm doing, and I'm planning ahead for the winter. Deonna had shared the joys of her Zumba DVD with me and I decided to get it for myself! $65 bucks, but thats cheaper than 2 months at the gym! (My gym anyway )

I have decided that when I hit -50, I'm going to do a "Before and After" (well, after thus far) and I just found the last legit pic taken of me before I really started dieting... it's a sad thing. I've been thinking about it a lot lately; I'm so so proud of where I am, but I cannot help but be ashamed of where I was, even who I was. I feel like this whole journey has not only transformed my body, but my mind. While I love that, I really hate that I let myself go like that. Really.

I really must commend myself tonight though~~! Deonna, Anne and I went to the Cheesecake Factory. I planned it all out. What I would get would basically use up all my points for the day. Now what makes that a problem... is, as you know, I'm a night eater. And I did it. And it was hard. haha!!! But I'm really proud of myself for that. It sort of made me remember that sometimes dieting is a struggle... and you sort of have to fight it out moment by moment. I know that sounds sincerely pathetic, but... there it is! Over eating is an addiction. I realize that, and it must be tackled as such.

Well, enough with my rambling!

Until Monday!

Things I Never Expected.

It's one of those exciting mid-week posts!!

Well, first off, I hit -45 so thats exciting :D although I kind of doubt losing anymore for the week.

Today my bff and I went to Newport, RI to visit the mansions and I ate horridly. This included Lobster ravioli in a cream sauce and Ben and Jerry's ice cream (Coffee Coffee, Buzzbuzzbuzz--which is amazing, btw) which I'm pretty sure blew all my point right there. But that's what flex points are for, and I hardly use mine.

But now the EXCITINGGG part happened on the way home. We stopped at the outlets to browse. My friends, I tried on a pair of size 16 Liz Claiborn jeans AND.THEY.FIT. *does the skinny dance*

Then as we went into Banana Republic because it is bff's favorite store (possibly next to J.Crew) As I browsed around I said "It's going to be bad when I can fit into this store." She said "You probably do. They go up to XL.." now that doesn't always mean anything, but I decided, what the heck, I'll try some stuff on... and officially went into "bad" mode. She can vouch for me. I went giddy. Tried on the first shirt. Terrified, looked into the mirror to see.... Me. Looking. Hott. LOL okay, not hott. But it fit! Everything I tried on fit! *does the skinny dance!!!*

My friends I'm ecstatic! So motivated and in the realization that I'm starting to actually... look good. Whoa.

Oh!

I've been trying to deny it ever since I woke up. I can't believe it. -44. Look at me, I can barely talk about it. 199. Me.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

This is SO freakin' exciting! And I'm surprised how in denial I am about it too. "No. That can't be right." as it's staring me in the face on the scale. Wow!!! Now, what did I do differently this week? Oh. A ton of things.

1)I decided it was time to increase my walking distance. I'm walking further and faster so I really had no excuse not to push myself. I started walking 5 miles and it takes me about 90 minutes. I don't know if that's good or not for someone like me who has stubs for legs. haha

2)I started eating breakfast. I would try to eat breakfast sometimes, but this week I decided it was time to really START. Of course, I never eat breakfast, so this was a lot harder than you'd think. I never would have something more than 2 points... but I tried to eat 2 points. along with my 2 points of coffee.

3)I actually ate most, if not all my points worth everyday. I can have 26 (now 25) points and during my time trying to eat only 20 (the weight watchers lowest you should eat.) and it occurred to me that I have that many points for a reason. It's not a bad thing to eat all my points. I'm supposed to. So I have been. I wonder how many phases of trying to "eat less to lose faster" it's going to take before I realize that doesn't work.

4)I'm teaching myself to snack on veggies. It's not like I don't adore some veggies enough to snack on them. Last sunday I bought myself this container of carrot sticks (because they were so stinkin' cute) and it just totally put me on this streak. So I've been eating like that at night which definitely works for me. So much better than what I was doing.

And of course, I have everyone who's been supporting me to thank too. :) Without your constant encouragement I couldn't do this. I don't think I talk too much about my struggles (and I do. Oh I do.) and you all show so much love and support and it helps more than I can explain.

I have not been at this weight since... 2004ish? (sadly, that was on the way of gaining too.) So this is like... starting a new journey. I know things are only going to get harder from here. And there will be a ton of things working against me in the foreseeable future. But I'm excited!

Total Weight Loss: -44/80