Hello again!
It is snowing today, in CT. I don't like snow very much, but the light stuff is okay with me. It's only when it becomes a hassle to drive in do I hate it.
But the weather is not why you're tuning in! Since I last checked in, I have lost *drumroll* 3 lbs!! which brings us to the beautiful step called -55!! Still right on track to end the Road Block by August. :)
And commence the introspective part of the blog:
I've been thinking about self-esteem, and my lack of it. I have a very odd sense of esteem. I think it is most generically described like this: I think I'm pretty, but I don't think other people think I'm pretty. And that same idea spans across a lot of my thinking about things. There are other people who are much bigger than me, but if they have that sense of self-worth... don't they seem more beautiful? :/ What I'm trying to say is I'm finding that getting thin isn't, in the end, going to give me the confidence I desire. Because no matter how good I think I look, or charming, or bubbly.... I still won't think anyone else thinks the same things I do. So I don't know how I will change that, but I am certainly going to try.
Total loss: -55/93
SO proud of you girl!!! "Breaking Free" (the study) by Beth Moore was super helpful to me and her book "So Long, Insecurity" is awesome too!!! You are fearfully and wonderfully made and when you start to think about what others think of you (chronic problem of mine) instead think of what GOD thinks of you... cause you know that's pretty amazing!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you felt that way hun! I have always thought you were beautiful and I have been so jealous of your face! You have gorgeous eyes, marvelous cheekbones, and such a wonderful smile! I am not kidding about that at all! I have always wished I have your facial structure! You are beautiful, adorable, fun and bubbly and I never want you to change. "Cuz girl you're amazing... just the way you are" ;-)
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